1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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