people are starting to question the shark bite story
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
