ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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