This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
