I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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