Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
