If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize