ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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