forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize