Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
