New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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