So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Never joke about your clitoris.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
