Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
