I CAN MOONWALK!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's blow job season.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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