oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When are your genitals available?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize