Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry