what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater