Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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