Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
