so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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