So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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