Moan for me like Helen Keller
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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