i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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