i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
