I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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