I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
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Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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