I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
