and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Welp...herpes.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
