fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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