Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
