Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
