The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
