I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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