his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
