i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
