I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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