I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
