I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
