there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
