Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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