I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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