May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
