***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
from now on my penis is your penis
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Quick, to the slutcave!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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