yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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