Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
