I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
