I want to walk on stilts...naked
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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