she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
