smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
