last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
