ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
