She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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