gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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