this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I want to be your penis for a week.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
