hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
