So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
