two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
