you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
