i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
