I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize