You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My nipple is on Facebook.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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