I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
