Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize