i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So. Much. Porn.
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