I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
how does that bad decision feel?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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