will power is for people who don't want to get laid
In America we eat man semen.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
