I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
